Sunday, June 3, 2012

BEFORE Tour Part 2

Welcome back!

I know I've already invited you inside, Ma, but let's jump back outside to see a couple of exterior before pictures (and some planned fixes).
I already grabbed us some Diet Cokes so let's get crackin'.

Look Ma! It's your favorite time of day!
This is the view as you emerge from the roof-scraping canopy of branches over the driveway.
Not exactly "EEEEK"...but not "Ahhhh!" either. Well, truthfully, I'm kinda leaning toward "EEEEK", so here are some minor and major fixes that we think will spruce up the exterior of our MullberryHill House.

First up, a minor fix:

That is a monster bush, y'all, and it's hiding half the house. I'd love to sic The Boys on it with a couple of shovels but this thing would probably just laugh an evil, monster-y laugh, extend a gnarly branch and savagely bat the shovels out of their hands. I think we're going to have to chainsaw this menace.

Next up:

What the crap is that, you ask? C'mere. Don't be afraid. I'm gonna give you a closer look:

Ugh! What the crap, indeed.
Some previous owner decided that an enormous walk-in pantry was far more useful than a dining room, so alakazam! up went some walls and out came a window. This window. That's right, Ma, somebody took out a window and "artfully" boarded it up on the front of a house (if we're being generous and window box addition = art). You're right, they might have been nuts because, even if you decided you wanted a dining room-sized pantry, why, exactly, couldn't you have a window in a pantry? Especially a pantry this big:

MooMoo, big girl.
You could march two hippos, side-by-side, down the middle of this thing. Though I suppose any self-respecting Doomsday Prepper should be out there converting their perfectly good dining rooms into cavernous pantries, these guys must have been rookies. I mean, look at all that wasted space, people!
Anyway, I'm sure you figured out that my red illustration is where the window used to be and where she will be sittin' pretty again, someday soon.

Meanwhile, back outside:

I know this is a rotten picture angle but look closely and you'll notice that the three remaining windows on the front exterior are all different sizes. I think this willy-nilly sizing and non-symmetrical placement contributes to a haphazard, low-brow kinda look.
I don't know how else to put it: it makes you look cheap, Miss MulberryHill. I'm all about trying to love the imperfections but, girlfriend, you need a face lift.
So, we're going to unify the sizes of the windows across the second floor and put in another window, for a three-window-across configuration. Something like this:

Well, pretty much EXACTLY like this. (This was our original dream house plan, back when we were starry-eyed Arizona land owners.)
Other than painting the house white and the shutters black, this is IT, baby. This inspiration photo will probably drive a whole bunch of cosmetic fixes because we're shooting for a Victorian-lite (Diet Victorian, if you will, Ma.) farmhouse look and this one wraps all that up pretty nicely.
After she gets some re-aligned and re-sized windows, I want to add that decorative roof gable, for interest. (I'm not sure yet whether we'll do a single or double, as shown.) 
Actually, I was really hoping the roof had a workable pitch to install dormers but it's just too squat up there. Unless we want one of these at the attic entryway...

  ...the dormers are a no-go. Of course, we could always put up decorative dormers....?
As Big T would say, "Let's see what the budget says."
He's so right.

I'd ask if you agree, Ma, but who am I kidding?
You always agree with Big T.

Smooches and Squeezes,

PS. A belated Happy Birthday to Big T.! Your (20th) 30th birthday is nothing to sneeze at! We should do something BIG to commemorate this event.

Say, you wanna go on a cruise or somethin'?
We could take these guys:

So cute, even when he's cranky.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Give it to me straight...