Tuesday, June 12, 2012

"You are not coming out until you clean up that mess."

We are finally cleaning! Hah-Lay-Loo-Yuh!

I think when I left you last, Ma, I was tired and frustrated because that thinset was stuck on reeeeeel good, like cellulite, and it seemed like only raw, animal effort and masterful hand-eye coordination with the chisel was gonna make it go away (also like cellulite). Come to think of it, much of this demolition project did make me think of an ungainly, dimply bum. Huh.

Anyway, after spending some quality time with a knowledgeable older gent in H.D.'s tool rental department (not that kind of quality, calm down dear), I decided to go whole hog y'all, and rent The Grinder.

Now, all the tile forums and DIY chat pages did say that The Grinder would be effective at "sanding" down the thin-set hills and craters but that the operator of The Grinder would be cleaning grit out of every crevice and off of every surface in the whole blasted house forever and ever.

Really all I heard was, "BlahBlahBlah...THE GRINDER WORKS...BlahBlah"
What's that? This thing will WORK? Big mess and all that. Got it. It will smooth out this lumpy butt of a floor?

Really, I already grossed-up the whole first level (and a little bit of the second) with the sandstorm I created with Blades of Death, how much worse could The Grinder make it?

You're expecting me to say, SO MUCH WORSE, right?
I'll tell ya, it really wasn't so bad. But, mess is sorta relative and if you know you already have to wash every wall and every slat of every mini blind and everything else, well then, who gives a rip if there's a little more dust on there?

So, The Boys and I rented that Grinder and lemme tell ya, that thing is as heavy as a refrigerator. One of the  tool rental guys came out to the parking lot with us to give us a hand lifting it up into the back of the Matrix and was making cracks about people who rent big equipment and try to haul it away in little bitty cars, like I was trying to strap the thing on the back of my mule. Lookit, the seats fold down, pal, so stop rolling your eyes.

Once we got el Grinder back to MulberryHill House we worked for about 6 hours, just grinding away. We started off using it with the shop vac attached to it, which did cut down the dust but really slowed down the process because we'd have to clean out the vac's filter every 10 minutes. So, instead we opened all the doors and windows and just went for it. It was a huge mess, billowing clouds of muck and because it's Summertime in Oklahoma, beetles and bugs of all kinds got the Disco Party invitation from the lights and open doors.

Man, am I glad that's over. Because I never look quite so crazy as when I'm getting kamikaze, fly-by buzzings from fat, juicy June bugs; swatting the air, cussin' up a storm and getting madder by the second.
Not pretty.

So, today we cleaned. Mama, I've never been so happy (and willing) to clean in my life. It was marvelous to spend a day working at MulberryHill House and not have to beat poofs of tile grime out of my shoes and everywhere else and de-scuzz The Boys before getting in the car.

I wish I had fun and goofy photos of our day of cleaning, Ma, but our camera's batteries bit the big one. As soon as I grab more batteries, I'll put up some After The Storm pictures.

Now that the tile is out, it's time to move in!
Moving day is Wednesday!
Oh my.

Smooches and Squeezes,

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